at this moment, i'm trying to find me way on saying the things i want to say to jedi. i know he might be expecting an email from me - which stating so many reasons that he needs to know -but probably not as well. maybe he doesn't care that much about this foolish reasons of mine. i guess the feeling that occupied myself really does occupied myself totally. i can still think clearly, but my hearts cant decide which bold thing is right.. but then again, maybe right and wrong is only a vague impression.

and now... i paused, to think and try to reattach what i still have left. do i really still have anything left?